Bad traffic when it rains

Car barely moving. I have been stuck in bad traffic for the last hour and it is really pissing my off. There is a difference between safe driving and idiotic driving!

When all's said and done

it's always easy for someone who's not been through thick and thin with you to say you got it easy. I get annoyed with people who tell me that I've got it easy and even more annoyed with people who tell me that since I got it easy and they didn't, then I should be obligated to help them or give them things that they ask for. To me, gifts should come deep down from your heart. And if I were to give something to a person, I will never expect something in return. You've not seen the hard work I put in, the job stress and the indirect home stress that comes with it, the tiring study schedule of 2 units per semester I put in on top of my full-time job, therefore, no one has the right to say I've got it easy.

我的包袱

不速之客。真厚脸皮！难道我还不够明显？你真的不知道我对你很烦感？

Don't you just wish

that annoying people in your life would just go away? Much like soiled clothing that you put into the washing machine? I do wish that lately, a lot. How do you truly remove yourself from them and not let them get the better of you? I have tried hard but every now and then they still manage to come back and haunt me. It has almost become my personal battle now, not so much of their mere existances anymore. I want to be happy and how I am going to lead a happy life in the future depends on myself now. My willpower to let go of little, petty and unimportant things, to be able to brush their nonsense off like dust, to be able to look at the big picture (karma will eventually get them) rather than getting the kick of instant gratification. As of today, I have yet been able to do that. I am still rather obssessed with ranting about them. Unfortunately, they have become a big part of my life unknowingly. I am unhappy. I have to break this emotional shackle. I want to.

Arghhhh

it's back to work today!

Stranded in airport

in the middle of nowhere is not something I particularly enjoy. Karratha of all places, where you have to wait at least an hour to get a cab after the sun sets. The airport terminal does not offer much. There is only 1 pathetic cafe which closes after 6pm. Qantas had delayed my flight back to Perth last night after discovering that there was a mechanical error with the plane, which is fair enough that they had actually discovered it. But like I said, Karratha is in the middle of nowhere and of course there wouldn't be any aircraft mechanic within its close proximity. They ended up having to wait for the mechanic to fly from Perth (about 2 hours' flight). And by the time the plane had been fixed, the plane took off at 11pm. The initial flight was 5:30pm. It's a good thing we managed to get a cab in the end to go to the city centre to get some decent dinner. My gums were killing me because for some reason my wisdom tooth seemed to have grown bigger overnight. (I need to get an appointment to get it removed asap). I was in a state of frustration because I was meant to be studying last night. It was a hellish experience. I landed in the Perth airport and found it luxurious! Can you imagine that?

Anger

is not a good thing. But yet I feel a lot of it inside me. I feel like I need to vent it on someone or something, otherwise at this rate I am going it is probably going to kill me. Some people are natural connivers. This is the nicest word I can use to describe them. At this moment, this is exactly how I feel - my hands are cold, my heart is beating faster than usual, my brain feels like a bloody washing machine.

Tiring day

INDEED! WTF, this whole working full time and studying part time has started again. All I need is to come home and not having to worry about ANYTHING at all. I can't help but wonder how nice it would be to have someone you can rely on 100%. Today I just feel so worn out. URGH!

Post office

... should be of convenience to the public. If you are going to trade only the hours people work at offices, do you expect one to take leave just to pick up the package that's being held there? This is so ridiculous. Recently, the local postal office servicing our housing estate has been changed. This new postal office not only is further away from our place, it also does not open on Saturday. We had 2 packages held by them over the last 3 days and after 2 failed attempts to make it there on time after work, I went there during my lunch break today. The return journey took about 1/1/2 hrs because it started to drizzle a bit and caused a traffic jam. I also had to skip my lunch, which I made up by buying a crap roast beef bagel at about 2pm. Urgh.

Quote from Lusi

"公主头好大哦！figuratively & literally... "

Parenting 101

it is crucial not to condone Princess Complex in your daughters next time... that, coupled with innate bitchyness in the female species would make her a public enemy at school and a menace to society eventually. It is also important for them to be sensitive to the feelings of others and understand the concept of respect. I find it amazing how there are so many parents in this world who are overprotective of their children, some severe cases even making their children believe that they are people they are not and as a consequence they have become irritants to the environment. Please be a little more considerate and do not let your children become one of these delusional brats! Because honestly, after the age of 5, you are no longer considered cute. (Unless of course your life long ambition is to become Sailormoon).

Pain in the ass...

are people who are totally oblivious to other people's feelings and worse still have the perverse pleasure of rubbing it in, adding salt to an open wound, pouring wet blanket on other people's good news... well you get the idea. It's amazing how maturity and age is not simultaneous.

Pretentious

... is something we have to be at times. I do not enjoy doing it but sometimes doing it would make someone else feel happy. And when that someone else happens to be someone that you love, you wonder why they would even put you through it. Do they even know you well enough or care about you enough to have the heart to spare you from the whole agony? Action speaks louder than words. I get the point. Apparently blood carries the same fundamental issues and I can see it in mine too, ironically.

Distasteful is...

trying too hard to be someone you are not... and worse still trying to make everyone around you put up a stage for you so that you can be portrayed as someone you are not.

stinking hot summer weather like today's. high 30's, very dry, and oven-like. Summer flies sticking to your skin once you step out of the house.

girls who wear their jeans so low that it shows their butt cracks. I just don't see how that can be attractive?

eating things that once caused you to puke your guts out. It makes your stomach feel upset all over again...

Feeling lousy

I am feeling rather down today for various reasons. Even shopping cannot perk me up. It is so easy for me to fall into the trap of caring about unimportant, petty little things and it just dawned upon me today that it is causing me to lose the big picture. I guess my new year's resolution will be to concentrate my energy on the big rocks of my life and schedule the little, unimportant ones around it. It sounds easy but really we can get sidetracked unconsciously.

Narcissism is not self esteem

... it is a diagnosable personality disorder whose symptoms include an exaggerated sense of self-worth, feelings of superiority over other people, a sense of entitlement, a willingness to exploit others, and a lack of empathy. People with this disorder tend to prop up their egos with their own boasting and others’ adoration. But because that inflated self-image lacks internal support, it is fragile, like a reflection that dissolves with the pond’s disturbance, as in the Greek myth that gave narcissism its name. Underneath lies self-loathing. In the beginning you would endure, but it comes a point when you finally have had enough and you are truly sick of that person. Do you know of someone like that in your life? If you haven't met one, you are definitely very fortunate. :)

如果你真的美，别人一定会赞你。

如果你真的非常富有，一切都会理所当然。

如果你真的有才华，你应该会很忙吧？怎么会有时间讲那些有的没的呢？

其实你只是一个非常悲哀，脸皮厚成墙，演盖自卑的小人。

要该怎么帮你呢？

It makes me shudder

... as Nat says, "it is genetically impossible for us to have children like KJ." Surely, environment played a factor to KJ becoming KJ today. I can't imagine anyone would be born to become like KJ or 老KJ. Or is it something that they eat? If only I knew all the exact elements that resulted in their behaviors today, I would then be able to prevent my children from becoming like them. And hence, I would be a happier person.

Sssh, don't let the cat out of the bag

Everyone has different avenues for venting and ranting. When it comes to the problems a couple face, should they face them together and keep everything private? I guess if both parties are able to compromise and are able to solve the problems between them, then there shouldn't even be the opportunity of leaking potentially privileged information. So marriage is not a union of just 2 people, but also involves the people in their lives. Unfortunately, that means sometimes it will cause unnecessary conflicts. If neither party wants to compromise, should you just stifle your anger or succumb to confiding in close friends & family? And would that cause even more damage & grief to the current state of the relationship? This might sound trivial to some, but today I have learnt that baby names is considered to be privileged information and should only be disclosed to members of the special club (call it the baby names club if u wish). It sounds a bit bizarre but that's what we have decided.

1 down, 1 to go

I can't wait till the exam is over. Sigh... this whole studying and working at the same time can get pretty painful, but I know at the end of the day, it will be worth it. I shall endure. Come Friday, I will be out celebrating. Woo hoo!

Knowing another language

... is useful. Today's rant is specially dedicated to KJ, because amidst recent events that has affected me emotionally and struggling to finish studying for my final exams next week, you have once again "spiced" up my life with your ridiculous and superficial beliefs that only people who love you would bother to understand. Unfortunately, I am not one of them and here's what I think:

我最讨厌你每天喜欢装可爱，扮清纯的样子.
你也很会摆一副觉得自己很高级的眼神, 爱看扁别人, 不会为别人有幸福而感到开心.
象你这样的人其实在这个世界一定不只你一个. 但是, 到现在为止被我遇到而不可能会消失的却只有你.
所以, 我觉得你好烦!
请你不要忘了, 风水轮流转...

Please don't bother me again for the rest of this week.